SUFFERING - A BLESSING IN DISGUISE?
I just got back from a meeting and was driving back to my house (I live in LA).
My hands on the steering wheel, listening to some upbeat music..
I now see and perceive my environment in a way that allows me to feel something other than pain and anxiety. There’s much more peace and much more presence to the moment that evokes feelings of gratitude and contentment.
However, at the same time, there’s also this disbelief that this is my new reality. “Is this really happening?”. You know, when you’re just so used to your symptoms and feelings of anxiety that you habitually check in with your body, looking for them, as if you've lost something?
Being able to feel a sense of gratitude for being alive, appreciating a sunset and just driving my car down a road, immersed in the moment is just so very special. There’s some pain here and there and some very low-level anxiety every now and then but this new quality and state of mind allows me to NOT be tuned into my body all the time and actually partake in whatever is going on around me in a particular moment - bringing more awareness and peace of mind to the present.
I now can do the most basic things with this newfound quality, like driving a car, without getting completely exhausted by the constant overstimulation - my mind racing uncontrollably, and my anxiety building and gaining momentum without end.
Not too long ago, I remember exactly how driving my car to the grocery store felt. Each and every undulation and crack in the surface of the road triggered and startled me and made me feel very uncomfortable, to say the least. It felt as if there’s this electric current running through my body and everything that comes through my senses is just ever increasing the charge like someone turning up a volume knob.
Can you look at the picture below, the caterpillar, the chrysalis and the butterfly.
This is how I see what the transformational journey with anxiety, depression and all related disorders and diseases looks like..
I know that we cannot see any benefit of our suffering when we are fighting in the trenches with all the demons in our head and pain in our body but I guarantee you that once you see the light and more importantly experience proof that there’s a way out, you’ll slowly come out of your suffering and will experience a life that you most likely couldn’t have imagined for you in your wildest dreams.
I like calling it “STEPPING INTO YOUR TRUE POTENTIAL” (a more technical term would be "Post Traumatic Growth")
1) The caterpillar is able to move and explore freely, very slowly though with limited potential..
2) ..the unborn butterfly in the chrysalis cannot move, it’s wrapped up, unable to express its true power and beauty, but then..
3) ..the butterfly gets stronger and over time is able to break free, shed its skin and start to fly, completely transcending its original form and state.
I’m wondering if this resonates with you?
Where do you think are you on that journey?
And, even though it may be very hard for you right now to grasp, but, is it possible for you to see the possibility of you tapping into YOUR true potential?